How to Recognize the Signs of Addiction in a Loved One—and Take Action (Without Losing Yourself)

Addiction doesn’t just impact the person struggling—it reshapes the lives of everyone around them. As a family member or friend, you might feel like you’re walking on eggshells: “Are they just stressed, or is it something more?” “How can I help without pushing them away?” In this post, we’ll break down the physical, behavioral, and emotional signs of addiction and share evidence-based strategies to support your loved one while protecting your own well-being.

Note: This blog post complements my video “Recognizing the Signs of Addiction & How to Support Your Loved One” on Off the Beaten Couch. Watch the full discussion here 

Part 1: The Signs of Addiction—What to Look For

Addiction is often called a “hidden disease,” but there are clear red flags when you know what to watch for. Here’s how to spot the signs:

Physical Signs:

Unexplained weight loss/gain

Poor hygiene or a “run-down” appearance

Dilated or constricted pupils 

Withdrawal symptoms (tremors, sweating, nausea)

Chronic fatigue or insomnia

Behavioral Signs:

Secretive behavior (hiding substances, lying about whereabouts)

Withdrawing from friends, family, or hobbies

Neglecting responsibilities (work, school, parenting)

Financial issues (borrowing money, sudden debt)

Risky behaviors (driving under the influence, unsafe sex)

Emotional Signs:

Extreme mood swings (euphoria to irritability)

Defensiveness or aggression when questioned

Feelings of hopelessness or apathy

Mental fog (forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating) 

Overwhelming guilt or shame

Key Takeaway: Addiction rarely shows up as just one sign—it’s usually a combination of these patterns over time.

Part 2: How to Help (Without Enabling): CRAFT & SMART Strategies

If you suspect addiction, your next steps matter. Here’s how to approach the situation with compassion and clarity:

1. Use CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training)

CRAFT is an evidence-based approach that focuses on changing family dynamics to support recovery. Try these steps:

Replace Confrontation with Curiosity:

Instead of: “You’re drinking too much—you need to stop!”

Try: “I’ve noticed you’ve been tired lately. How are you feeling?”

Reinforce Positive Behavior:

Acknowledge small wins, like attending a support meeting or going a day without using.

Example: “I’m proud you talked to a counselor today. How did it go?”

Set Boundaries (With Love):

“I can’t lend you money, but I’ll help you find a find resources.”

2. Create SMART Goals

If your loved one is open to help, guide them with SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound:

Specific: “Let’s find a therapist who specializes in addiction this week.”

Measurable: “Can we start with one support group meeting?”

Achievable: “What’s one trigger you can avoid this week?” (e.g., deleting a dealer’s contact).

Relevant: “Would a meditation app help you manage cravings?”

Time-bound: “Let’s check in Friday about how this plan is working.”

Part 3: The Most Important Step: Take Care of YOU

Supporting someone with addiction can be emotionally exhausting. Here’s how to stay grounded:

Join a Support Group: Al-Anon, SMART Recovery Family & Friends, or local groups offer safe spaces to share and learn.

Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself: “I didn’t cause this, I can’t control it, but I can contribute to a healthier environment.”

Seek Therapy: A licensed therapist can help you process grief, set boundaries, and rebuild resilience.

When to Seek Professional Help

While these strategies can guide you, addiction is a complex medical condition that often requires professional intervention. Encourage your loved one to consult a doctor, addiction specialist, or therapist. If they refuse, focus on what you can control—your own healing.

Disclaimer

This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health therapy, medical advice, or addiction treatment. Always consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalized guidance.

Resources to Explore

SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

SMART Recovery Family & Friends: Free online support tools

“Beyond Addiction” by Dr. Jeffrey Foote: A CRAFT-based guide for families

Local Therapists: Psychology Today’s directory (filter by “addiction”)

Your Next Step
If this post resonated with you, watch the full video on recognizing addiction signs and using CRAFT/SMART strategies [here]. And if you’re feeling stuck, leave a comment below or reach out—we’re in this together.

#AddictionRecovery #FamilySupport #MentalHealthMatters #OffTheBeatenCouch